Sometime this year, we taxpayers will again receive another 'Economic
Stimulus' payment.  This is indeed a very exciting program, and I'll explain
it by using a Q & A format:

Q: What is an 'Economic Stimulus' payment ?
A: It is money that the federal government will send to taxpayers.
Q: Where will the government get this money ?
A: From taxpayers.
Q: So the government is giving me back my own money ?
A: Only a smidgen of it.
Q: What is the purpose of this payment ?
A: The plan is for you to use the money to purchase a high-definition TV
set, thus stimulating the economy.
Q: But isn't that stimulating the economy of China?
A: Shut up.
Below is some helpful advice on how to best help the U.S. economy by
spending your stimulus check wisely:

* If you spend the stimulus money at Wal-Mart, the money will go to China or
   Sri Lanka.

* If you spend it on gasoline, your money will go to the Arabs.

* If you purchase a computer, it will go to India, Taiwan or China.

* If you purchase fruit and vegetables, it will go to Mexico, Honduras and

* If you buy an efficient car, it will go to Japan or Korea.

* If you purchase useless stuff, it will go to Taiwan.

* If you pay your credit cards off, or buy stock, it will go to management
   bonuses and they will hide it offshore.

Instead, keep the money in America by spending it at yard sales.

by Ron